Is this a rant or a whine? You decide.
The books get some negative reviews, that’s life. Not everybody likes broccoli. Some people just don’t like my books. OK.
The reviews that frustrate me are the ones where they don’t seem to get the point. I have to think that’s the fault of the author.
But I wish they could say, “I don’t like the style.” or “I think he’s stupid.’ or whatever, instead of complaining that the book is not something it was never intended to be.
Your Life Can Be Better, using strategies for adult ADD/HD is not an encyclopedia of strategies and it is not a book on how to stop losing your keys. The strategies in there are examples of how to create and use strategies. If some of my strategies work for you, great! If not, you may be able to modify them so they will. Or you may just need to create the strategies that will work for you. The principle is: identify a problem, design a strategy, make it a rule, stick with it until it’s a habit; your life will be better!
Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD is not a book to sit down and read or to find ways to help your non adult children. It is 365 tips to read one a day at your own pace. It is meant to help you stay on track, to educate you about ADD ADHD, and to encourage you.
I wish I had made these things more clear in the books, but most people seem to get it.
homeys post a good review
Feel free to leave a review, I would appreciate it, good, bad or indifferent. (to be honest, I prefer good, but they tell me that any publicity is good publicity. Wish I believed that)
if you think this is a rant, clik here
or a whine, clik here
“Everybody has a little ADHD.”
Have you heard that before?
Yes, but some of us have a whole lot of it and almost all the time. That’s different.
The quote above is from an article that actually has some good information and, in my humble opinion, some baloney.
What do you think? clik (this is the article)
For the ADD ADHD deniers: od yu diblve in dsylexai to??
from totally ADHD, The Funnies
Homey’s planner, a good approach
and more on ADD ADHD relationships
and more yet
There is evidence that the ADD ADHD strategies work. This in from Momma who had some questions:
Thank you so much for breaking down the cards/lists strategies for me. I know I asked a lot and I appreciate your taking the time to explain it all. The screen shots are so helpful, too. I understand it much better now. I’m not finished with your book yet, but the cards/lists strategies really talked to me, (I love lists), so I started using it right away. I don’t have my colored index cards yet, so I am using loose leaf paper. I must say, just seeing what I needed to do written on a piece of paper felt so good. It gave me much needed direction. I felt empowered. I started with something simple: I get up early on Sundays, so I can have some “me” time before my children wake up and before Church. During this time, I read my emails, maybe flip through a magazine, catch up on a tv show, guilty pleasure stuff. Well, usually, when I turn on my computer, I find something interesting on yahoo’s home page, then something else interesting (kind of like your Henry VIII Wives’ example). Before you know it, I have done nothing but read yahoo news that is not important , and then I am running late for church. SO, on my list I wrote: read HGTV magazine (and don’t start another magazine before you finish it), read 15 minutes of Your Life Can Be Better, find a Christmas letter from a friend (I’ve been looking through my piles since Christmas), research Hoya care, etc., AND leave plenty of time to get ready for Church. I did it all and checked off the items as I went along. And I was on time for church. No rushing out the door 1/2 ready. It felt great. My family couldn’t believe I was on time. The next day, I wrote some real to-do stuff on my paper – 5 things only – pay bills, empty suitcase, plan weekly menus, etc.) I got them all accomplished. Again, it felt great. I have decided to name my list from Sunday morning “Leisure Time” and I made another list called “Little Things to Do”. for 5-10 minute tasks. Then I will have my list of only 5 things. I am keeping some reminders where I tend to sit: “Finish one book or magazine before you start another” and “leave plenty of time to get ready”. As I said, just seeing the words seems to motivate me and keep me on track. Key for me is keeping up the momentum and the lists. Otherwise, I fall right back into getting nothing done (because it is not written down). Maybe I will make a “write your lists and cards” reminder to keep me going. Thank you for this blog and for your books. They are gifts. Momma
Note the strategies of lists, schedule, blocks of time, and the power of positive reinforcement.
more on lists
The sun always come out after the storm.
Momma asked for details about how to use the card system for ADD ADHD. So:
First, red card for the to do list, limited to 5 things. That’s the tasks for today, tho may not get all five done.
When a new to do comes up, the red card usually has five already, so the new one goes on the orange card. I use a star or underlining or numbering on the orange card to indicate importance. When I have crossed something off the red card, then I look at the orange for the next one to put on.
The yellow card is for things I might do someday, maybe. Sometimes one moves up to the orange or even the red. Sometimes I have spare time and just do one.
1. I also use green cards for movie and book titles, blue for memory, and white for things I’m trying to learn or misc.
2. This system may be outmoded if I could use the iPhone better, but it doesn’t have colors, but I expect there are good apps for this. But the cards seem easier than typing on the phone, and I’m terrified of losing it, or even something happening, like, oh, I don’t know, maybe sending it thru the washing machine?
3. Homey sent a great strategy for priorities, a real problem for me – ” If you could only do one thing on your list, which one would it be?” That’s your number one priority then.
4. I confess I do not stick strictly to the system all the time; maybe sometimes there’s more than five things on the red card, but that is a mistake and I’m working on doing better, cause then my life goes better. Momma’s questions have helped me refocus on this.
Hope this covers Momma’s questions and maybe is a good review for some of us.
What is your system? and What apps do you use?? Hoping for comments (as always)
good ADHD facts on flash cards
another kind of ADHD cards
the power of lists
I just read what may be the best ADD ADHD post ever, from Homey (Patty). I will not copy it here but give you the link. It is great!
Momma complains of totally disorganized, out of whack, doesn’t know how to start. For ADD ADHD, that is disaster. Momma, I don’t know you personally and I don’t know your circumstances, so this is one way to start but you will need to personalize it. Daily and weekly schedule, routine, and blocks of time:
Modify this to fit your preferences and circumstances, you will have a daily and weekly schedule and a routine. You will need to be flexible, things will come up. You may wish to fill in things for the afternoons and evenings or not. For example, I commit to doing a blog post on Mon, Wed, Sat. That’s routine, structure, that I need.
This is a start!
routine for ADD ADHDclik
more routine, from Margarita clik
more ADD ADHD tips, from Dana clik
Momma has suggested more details about using cards, lists, small steps and priorities for adult ADD ADHD. And some other questions. This will take a few posts.
CARDS: the red card, list of five, things to be attempted today. Limit it to five or I’ll be overwhelmed and can’t figure out where to start, and will procrastinate, stagnate, and flop around in useless circles – probably flee to FreeCell. These five also need to be small things, or the same paralysis will result.
What to put on Red Card?
Not routine things! I don’t put “brush my teeth”, or “eat lunch”.
I don’t put “practice guitar” cause I want to do that a little everyday anyway. However, if it’s a day I’ve picked to especially devote to guitar, then I’ll put it on. But small steps -it’s better if I particularly want to work on one thing – then “practice C scale” or “practice I Remember You”. Less overwhelming, more specific, easier to get started.
House work? If it’s routine, not on card. But if Tuesday is the day to clean the kitchen, then maybe, “kitchen”. And if it’s something special, not routine, then “wax kitchen floor” for sure.
More next time.
The Red Card
I love getting suggestions, book reviews and blog comments – Thank you, Momma.
As I complete tasks I cross them off. I also keep re-numbering the order I more or less plan to do them in. When the card gets full or too messy, I throw it away and start a new Red Card (if I had a better supply and wasn’t so cheap (sorry, I meant thrifty) I would use a new card every day.
Here’s the input from Momma. clik
Short answer to a question- When everything is out of whack, start with one thing (ie one area, one problem, etc).
‘OK, but everything’s a mess.’ Yes, I know, but you’ve been living that way for a while, so you’re not gonna fix it all in one day and you need to start somewhere.
more on lists clik
more on red card clik
more on small steps clik
Bonus Site o the Day: Orlov on bedtimes for couples clik
With ADD or ADHD, we need routine and schedule, in order to have structure in our lives. Maybe this is less important for vanilla people, who are free to live in the moment and be spontaneous and just follow any opportunity, attraction or whim that comes up (I don’t really believe this), but for us, structure frees us to be effective and not disorganized and stressed out.
So, since I retired, I am needing to:
1. Write down goals, and then strategies for reaching them.
And seeing the list of all the goals helped me prioritize, which I am no good at. What is important? What will pay off, will help me reach my longer term goals? When we have ADD ADHD, we have a lot of interests, lots of things we want to do; we want to do all of them and it’s hard to prioritize and hard to let go of any of them.
2. Make a schedule for a typical day (do we actually have any “typical” days? Is this a process designed to create more frequent typical days?) What’s the best time to do my various exercise routines? To do my Spanish?
3. Make a weekly schedule, using the typical day schedule plus whatever else is on for this week.
4. Make a to do list each day, and then a second one limited to five items. And on some days, just one item (so I can actually focus).
5. Watch out for distractions – “Is this a distraction? How is this helping me? What is the payoff? Is this the best use of my time right now?”
(Just read a great book, Fooling Houdini, which was helpful for recreation and also happened to have some useful information. So I got interested in magic, and wanted to go to the library and get books on card and coin tricks. But wait! Nothing wrong with that, but clearly it is a DISTRACTION. I have a lot of other things to do which I would also enjoy and that would be more productive. Magic can be pretty low on my list of priorities.)
6. Simplify- cut down on my facebook and linked in and other connections. Pick out one book to work on for now (either psychiatric emergency services or marriage); focus on two songs and learning the fretboard. The Youtube will have to wait.
7. Remember (how could I forget?) that the schedule and to do lists are flexible, just guidelines, depending on what comes up (doesn’t it always?), but they provide that much needed structure. Otherwise, I’m just flopping around and stressed out, and that isn’t how I envisioned my retirement.
How do you prioritize, set goals and create structure?
structure and meds clik
from the French connection clik
ten things that help with ADD ADH clik